I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
