dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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