my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
