i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
