the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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