i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
