when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My ATM looks so different sober.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
