Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
