thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
