Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
