okay pat passed out under dana's car
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
