so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
