so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize