i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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