Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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