I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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