And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
