Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
