last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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