I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize