im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
