She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
