did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize