I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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