It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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