i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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