so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
