did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
