everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
