Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I will be naked everywhere
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
