Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
