Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
