You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
