I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
