i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
