u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize