It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize