see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
