Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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