p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
