Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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