isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
