So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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