there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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