I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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