I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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