why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i was born a porn star she said
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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