i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
