I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize