I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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