I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
