you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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