i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
operation harelip BJ is a go
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize