You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
