I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
