so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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